omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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