Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
