so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
