I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
