I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
