Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
