Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
