at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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