the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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