This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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