Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
