YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
