I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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