the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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