I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
