My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
