nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
