before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
