i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
