She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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