I'm drive I can fine osifer
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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