This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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