I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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