physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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