The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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