dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
