Dual....:-)
so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
