I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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