Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
