Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
