Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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