I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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