Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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