I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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