So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize