Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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