I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
