Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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