He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
