id be glad to
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why can't burritos get me drunk
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
