Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize