If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
