the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
