there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
