if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
