the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
