well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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