note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
honey bunches of taint.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
