I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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