he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
