Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
