Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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