can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
