I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who died my cat blue again?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
