she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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