Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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