I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
