I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
