I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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