If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
