quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
