I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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